


Shattered Pieces

by MangoBait



Series: Ashtyn Jones Series [3]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3, Fallout 4
Genre: AU, Action, Adventure, Banter, Canon Divergence, Drama, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Hardships, Heartbreak, Humor, Life is not a box of chocolates, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:39:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangoBait/pseuds/MangoBait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the Institute quite literally obliterated and her son returned to her side, Ashtyn Jones thought her quest was finally over. But, as her first story came to a close, Arthur Maxson's haunting speech did nothing to calm her nerves. Knowing the Commonwealth would never be safe for her son or Danse as long as Elder Maxson controlled the Brotherhood of Steel, Ash has decided to devise a plan to put a stop to him... Permanently. Unfortunately, Fate hasn't been kind to her so far, and it has no intentions of letting go. </p><p>There are a few things she is certain of, however... Her love for her family, her desire to do what she believes is right, and her stubborn pledge to stop at nothing until those close to her are safe once and for all. She sits now in the eye of the hurricane, the center of the storm, and things are going to get a lot fucking worse before they got better. </p><p>Because, war? Well, war never changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Return to Duty

**Author's Note:**

> So, welcome back ladies and gents. This is roughly the size the chapters for this new arc will be (around 5-6 pages, around 2k to 3k words). I found I can update weekly like this and keep the story rolling. It’s easier for me to write smaller chunks than one big one (given my shit crazy work schedule and family life). I hoped you enjoyed this, and thank you for sticking around. Seriously, you guys are amazing.
> 
> Also! If you haven't read 'Broken Steel', I HIGHLY recommend it before you start here. Seriously. You won't get the right feels for stuff later on if you don't at least skim the first part. Thanks!

Two days.

Two days had gone by since Maxson gave his speech, two days since we all decided to rile against him… and two days of pure bliss as I lounged around the Taffy Boathouse with Danse and Shaun. If I closed my eyes real hard and clicked my heels together three times, I could almost, just _almost_ , pretend that everything was sunshine and rainbows. The dream was right there, gawking at me with a pointing finger and mocking laugh as reality came looming around the corner once more reminding me that every hardship up until this point had merely been the beginning.

Oh, how cliché of me.

But yet, while the Institute and its lackeys were no more, we had an arguably bigger threat rearing its ugly head, snarling teeth and all. Okay, maybe I was getting a little too dramatic but I couldn’t help it. Not really. Not anymore. I found during my time out here that it was better to find the silver lining and poke jokes at everything rather than become depressed by the facts. If only Danse could play along for once.

To be fair, I couldn’t blame him. The way his brows creased, his lips tightened into a thin line, and his jaw clenched whenever we mentioned the Brotherhood… This couldn’t be easy on him, no matter how much he tried to shrug it off. We fully intended to overthrow the man he had looked up to for decades, the man who he had once considered his closest friend. If I put myself in his shoes… A shiver fled up my spine… I don’t know if I would be able to stay as strong.

But we didn’t have a choice. Maxson was out of control, power had corrupted him absolutely. Whatever righteous ideals he had once coveted so deeply were nothing but fairy tales. You couldn’t parade around a mirage of peace while slaughtered every non-human just because they didn’t look like you. How very Hitler.

The very thought made my stomach twist, my gaze flicking towards Shaun. His strawberry blonde curls fluttered in the light breeze as he leaned over the dock, smile brightening his face, tiny fingers clasped around the fishing pole. Danse stood beside him, gesturing with his hand towards the water.

No… I couldn’t stand by and do nothing when Arthur fully intended to rip my family apart. Not when I had just managed to get us together.

Not after everything that has happened to me, to us.

The plan was going to work _. It had to_. We all had our roles to play… Piper was going to find people in Diamond City, Nick would recruit rogue synths, Hancock had plans to round up folks in Goodneighbor who would pledge for our cause, and MacCready apparently had a few friends tucked away for a rainy day that he just had to go and find. Garvey agreed to side with us and was already reinforcing the training the Brotherhood had provided his men and women.

And me? Well, I had to play the role of the good Sentinel and return to the Prydwen.

_Right back into the nest of racist, big headed vipers._

_Fan-fucking-tastic._

_Swell._

“Mom!” Shaun shouted, pivoting towards me before jogging in my direction. A fish dangled from the end of his lure, bobbing back and forth with every step he took. “Look what I caught!” His footing was still clumsy; he wasn’t used to the jagged, crumbled earth, not after years of life in a lab. But he was learning, and fast. And his continuous drive to experience everything was touching, it made me feel a little better. But only a little.

I smirked, propping my elbows onto my knees, not leaving my perched position from the back porch. “Wow, pretty big.”

He came to a standstill a few feet from me, grinning ear to ear. “Yeah, and it has two heads!”

_Wait… what?_

Sure enough, as Shaun turned the, what I assumed to be a trout, on the line, four sets of eyes stared at me, glassy in appearance. “Oh… Uh, well, good job.” Welcome to the Commonwealth, where even the water life has mutated in some way or another.

“He is really getting the hang of it,” Danse commented, taking a seat next to me.

I arched a brow at him. “You never told me you knew how to fish.”

“I like to keep you on your toes.”

I rolled my eyes. “You? Unpredictable? Who _are_ you?” my tone was joking as I leaned into him.

He scowled but I could see amusement dance in his irises. He may not be used to this type of life, but I knew that part of him liked it. Turning his attention to Shaun he said, “Why don’t you go put it in the tank? We can cook it up for lunch before your mom’s ride gets here.”

Shaun nodded in agreement before trotting towards the shed, disappearing behind the opened wooden door.

I watched him go, felt my heart squeeze in panic. My breath was shaky when I exhaled. It had only been two days… and it wasn’t enough… it would never be enough to bridge the ten years I had missed. And I couldn’t stand the idea of being apart from him.

I closed my eyes, engraining to memory the way he looked when he slept, hairy messy and face relaxed. The way he ate, too quick but only because he clearly enjoyed every bite. The way he ran alongside Danse as he checked the perimeter every morning, wanting to do nothing more than be just like the once Paladin. The way he peppered Danse and I with questions in the afternoon when it was too hot to go outside, his curiosity about the Commonwealth and how it had once been coming to life… The way he hugged me, feeling so fragile and small in my arms, but oh so real and oh so mine. The way he said he loved me with all his heart.

God, I couldn’t do this.

When the hell had I become so _soft_?

I felt Danse’s hand on my shoulder, finger tips caressing across my back as he pulled me close to him. “I’ll keep him safe.” He spoke with such conviction, such reassurance. But I never doubted him for a second. If Danse was good at anything, it was stubbornly doing whatever he put his mind to. I guess we had that in common.

“I know, I’m not worried about that. I just…”

“Don’t want to leave?”

I nodded weakly, pressing my forehead against his neck. “I only got him back a few days ago. Can’t I wait a little longer?”

“And risk Maxson sending someone out here to find you?” Danse sighed. “Listen, I would love for you to stay, trust me. But we both know that there are too many threats involved with that idea. I could be found out… or worse, Shaun. We can’t play with fire right now.”

My focus found Shaun again as he bounced through the field besides the shed, Dogmeat lopping along behind him with his tail wagging and ears pointed forward. If the Brotherhood found out Shaun was a synth… No… That could never happen.

“As always, you’re right. Why do you have to be so fucking logical all the time?”

His chest rumbled with a quiet chuckle. “One of us has to be.”

I snorted. “Are you implying something, _sir_?”

“Oh? My dear lady, _never_.”

It was quiet for a moment as we watched Shaun, listening to his childish laughter as he played with Dogmeat in the grass. The heat was already climbing, scorching the land and stealing my breath, but he didn’t seem to mind. I wished I could bring him and Danse back with me, travel backwards in time to a world that wasn’t plagued with danger, to a world that wouldn’t force them to live in constant secrecy. Before the bombs, before all of this. I wished I could take him to school, I wished my only concern was whether or not I had to compete with other mothers. I wished for so much.

But, because fate was a giant fuckwad that liked to stomp on my hopes and dreams… here we were.

And here we would stay.

**-oOo-**

“They are almost here.” Danse called from the bottom of the stairs. Already I could just make out the sound of the vertibird propeller whirling away in the distance. Each beat of the wings made my gut lurch, my breath quicken.

It wasn’t enough time.

But it was coming to an end and I wasn’t going to be able to stop it. Please, I may be bad ass but I didn’t have any superpowers. Certainly they would have manifested by now if I did have them. I had had enough close calls and near deaths for three life times let alone my own.

I zipped my pack up and hoisted it onto my shoulders. “Okay, pep talk time,” I muttered to myself, catching my reflection in the mirror. My hair was growing back, long enough to tuck into a bun at the nape of my neck. My tan was darker, eyes brighter. I was healing but the scar that marred the ride side of my face was there to stay.

I liked to think it gave me a hardened look. That’s right, optimism, I was trying it out for flavor.

“You, Ashtyn, are a legit awesome mother fucker. You are gonna be gone for a week or two and then come back. That’s it. Piece of cake. Easy peasy. No sweat. Chin up and get your shit done. We did it before, and we can do it again. Okay? Okay. Good talk. Over and out.” But the woman looking back at me didn’t look too convinced. ‘A’ for effort though, right?

Dogmeat nudged his head against my thigh, whining as he peered up from his position. “Yeah, you don’t wanna come with, big guy. Trust me on this, the Prydwen and you would not get along. Whatsoever. Definitely not. No. Danse is right, boots on the ground is way better than that hunk of metal. Besides, it’s super boring. No butterflies to chase up there.”

He sniffed, head tilted to the side. “Don’t look at me like that. Besides, you gotta be down here to man the home front and all that shit. Danse may be a big meat head but you have to have his six, got it?”

Dogmeat replied with a happy yip as I knelt down to him, his tongue finding my cheek. “You’re such a good boy. You keep an eye on Shaun. You protect him no matter what, you hear me?”

Another cheerful bark. I still wasn’t sure if he actually understood me or not… but I was going to pretend he did, it made me feel better. Marginally. And I could take every itty bitty piece of ‘better’ I could get right now.

I stood and brushed the dust off of my cargo pants. “Alrighty, let’s get this over with.”

Taking to the steps, I descended onto the first floor where Shaun and Danse were waiting. “They landed just down the road a bit. Looks like Clarke and Rhys are here to take you back.”

“No Haylen?” I couldn’t help the pout that formed on my lips. I had been hoping my favorite Scribe would tag along for the ride… but she must have been busy. “Fingers crossed Rhys has dislodged that bur up his arse,” I added quietly, giving Danse a pointed look.

He grimaced. “I doubt it. Try not to make any cootie jokes on the flight back.”

“No promises,” I quipped.

“What are cooties?” Shaun asked.

I chuckled, dipping down to his level. “It’s what you get from boys like Rhys. But don’t worry, buddy, you don’t have any. I would know. I have a sixth sense for that stuff since I’m your mom, and you’re clear.” I gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up for emphasis, forcing a warm and loving smile onto my face. That’s right, plaster that sucker on there. Be happy, _try_ to be, for him. Don’t crack. Don’t shed a single fucking tear, keep it together. Be an adult. An adultier adult. Be the most adultiest adult in the whole damn Wasteland.

Shaun exhaled with relief, clearly more concerned about his possible cootie situation. “That’s good,” he commented. His eyes traveled to the door. “So, you going to be gone long?”

“Not at all. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“And when will that be?”

I bit my bottom lip gingerly, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “A few weeks. But I’ll bring you back some stuff so you can make that gun you and Danse have been talking about. Sound like a deal?” I could hear my voice falter, catch in my throat. _Shit. Together. Sentinel. Game face._

His expression lit up. “That would be the awesome! You’re the best, mom!” his arms snaked around my neck as he hugged me, lips clumsily planting against my temple for a sloppy kiss. _That’s it, baby boy, you’re so brave._

But his shoulders trembled once his face was buried against my shoulder. His breath shook as it wisped against my skin. His fingers dug into my skin, clasping the fabric of my gray t-shirt in fistfuls. “I don’t want you to go,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry, honey,” I replied quietly, pulling him closer against me, squeezing my eyes shut. “I’m _so sorry_.”

“It’s not fair.”

“It isn’t. But I’m going to make it right,” I swore. My voice was thick with emotion, tears blurred my vision when I opened my eyes. I dragged my fingers across my face. _Stop. Don’t do this. Be strong for him. He needs that right now._ “I’m going to make this world safe for you, no matter what.”

When he pulled away, his cheeks were damp with moisture, eyes puffy and red. “But what if something happens to you?”

I waved my hand dismissively. “I’m going to be peachy keen.”

“But, at the Institute-“

“That was different. We didn’t know everything when we went in there. Now we do. Thanks to you. But, hey, you make sure you keep Danse safe while I’m gone, okay? Don’t let him do anything too silly.” I ruffled his hair, skimming my thumb along his cheek to catch his tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too, mom.”

Danse’s arms found me when I stood, crashing me to his chest. I felt his heart slam against his rib cage, heavy and erratic, uncertain and overwhelmed with worry. His fingers curled into my back, lips finding my own to deliver a frantic kiss, as if I was an oasis and he was the desert, as if it was the last one he was ever going to give me. “Come back to me,” he breathed, pressing his forehead against mine. “That is a direct order, and you are not allowed to disobey it.” His voice was barely audible but I heard it. I heard every detailed facet of it, his words filled to bursting with fear, with deep seated concern. At one time his opinion never mattered to me… and now it meant the world. Funny how a handful of months could change everything… how he could become so fucking important to me, how I could love him so much.

“I will.”

“Don’t make me come find you again, please. I don’t… I _can’t_ go through that again… _Please_.”

“I won’t.”

“Thank you.” He inhaled slowly, savoring our final few seconds together… and then his grip released me, left me craving his warmth and comfort, his smell of gun powder and metal, his protective embrace, his smile that was reserved only for me.

Fuck, I sounded like a Hallmark card. What was this man doing to me?

“Okay. I’m heading out. Don’t blow up the house while I’m gone.”

Danse scowled. “That’s something _you_ would do, not us.” _Thank you, for playing along. I needed that._

“Oh, you wound me,” I joked, backing up to the door. “Bye boys, I love you both.”

“Bye mom!” Shaun’s voice quivered, his valiant facade crumbling around the edges.

Danse waved, hands clasping around Shaun’s shoulders and giving him a gentle squeeze, being the rock that would ground my little boy.

Then I turned from them and exited my home, left my family.

And started my adventure anew.


	2. Safe

“Welcome back, Sentinel Jones,” Rhys greeted from his position beside the vertibird. The Brotherhood of Steel logo was painted prominently on the metal face of the chopper, gears nestled behind a sword glistening in gold and white. At one time I had felt honored to be part of this group. My gaze fell to the helmet I carried under the crook of my arm, the very helmet Danse had gifted me so many months ago.

So much had changed since then. Including Rhys’ attitude towards me, it seemed.

He regarded me with a shielded expression as I closed the distance, offering a half-hearted wave in return. “Good to be back,” Lies, filth and lies, but Rhys didn’t need to know that.

“Sorry you have to leave the boy behind.” True sympathy appeared to ooze around his words. Huh, well, whatever had been wedged eternally up his ass must have been removed when I wasn’t looking. That or he was putting on a show for the pilot and fellow Knight on board. I rolled my eyes. Yeah, likely option number two, if I had to guess.

I clasped the handlebar and hoisted myself into the vertibird, swallowing the wave of fear that washed over me. _No one has ever fallen out one of these, no one has ever fallen out one of these…_ maybe if I repeated the words Danse had spoken to me back at the Police Station, I would start to believe them. And maybe this was all a dream and I would wake up in my cozy queen sized bed in a few minutes.

I wasn’t convinced, however. How could I be? The vertibirds were nothing but slightly wielded together metal bits with some techy tech on the inside and chairs I was pretty convinced were once in a doctor’s office lobby that were now held down with an assortment of duct tape and nails. It didn’t exactly scream ‘safe’.

Then again, nothing in the Commonwealth Wasteland did. Might as well get used to it.

“I’ll return to them soon, hopefully,” I said once seated in the leather chair, finger nails already starting to dig into the soft armrests. No harness, no seatbelt. Just like last time. Terror racing through my veins. Just like last time. No Danse to pull me close, give me reassurance. _Not_ like last time. I sent a sideways glance to Rhys. He didn’t really look like the hug and cuddles type. Best to just keep my face forward and watch the clouds.

“We will arrive at Boston Airport within the hour. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride,” The pilot intoned from the cockpit after Rhys boarded, settling into the seat to the right of mine.

“Think you’re going to be okay?” Rhys asked, clearly much more comfortable than I was.

“Sure,” I muttered, brushing a strand of my hair out of my face as the heated breeze picked up.

“I heard that flying really isn’t your favorite thing to do.”

“When did you become so interested in what my favorite things to do were?” I bit without thinking, without hesitation. I squeezed my eyes shut and cocked my head to the side. “Sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

Rhys paused, bowing forwards in his chair until his elbows rested on his armored knees. “No, I kind of did. I’ve treated you like shit since you’ve joined… I’m not sure it means much but, I am sorry. I was wrong about you. You’ve done a lot for us, for the Brotherhood. I will do my best to rectify any previous aggressions I have leveled with you, and will respectfully take any punishment you deem worthy.”

Color me in hues of surprise. Holy shit. I arched a brow. “Punishment? Rhys, we’re fine. Chill as cucumbers. Don’t worry about it.”

His lips parted in surprise as his gaze found mine. “You serious?”

“No, I’m lying,” I answered sarcastically. “You have to give me sixteen laps around the airport when we arrive.”

He scoffed, nose crinkling. “God, your jokes are dumb.”

“Not as dumb as your face though.”

Rhys chuckled. “I think I missed your stupid humor.”

“Thanks.”

The pilot’s voice cut through our chatter, “Taking off now. Hold steady.”

The chopper shuddered and heaved, lifted off of the ground, and teetered back and forth as the propellers brought us into the air. I bit my bottom lip, eyes shifting to peer out through the gaping hole in the side of the craft. I watched as the Taffy Boathouse grew smaller and smaller before we turned from it altogether.

I could feel it, feel the ice pick beginning to burrow into my heart as the house faded from view. Danse had been the sole reason I stayed with the Brotherhood. With him removed from the equation, I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong… like I was being employed by the enemy. The BOS wanted nothing more than the quick and brutal annihilation of all non-humans… Curie, Nick, Hancock… Danse and Shaun. My gut twisted uncomfortably, a lead ball formed in the pit of my stomach, bile rose in my throat. I was currently working with the very people that wanted to _slaughter_ my family. And though I was doing it under a guise, even though I was recruiting people to mutiny from within… I felt _wrong_.

Like no amount of bathing and fancy soap was going to wash clean my wrong doing.

All I wanted was to be with my son, and the love of my life. But here I was instead, moving further and further away from them. It felt like I was leaving a large part of myself behind.

_I’ll miss you both._

_Goodbye_.

**-oOo-**

I was mindlessly picking at my finger nails when I noticed the vertibird begin to descend roughly forty-eight minutes later (but who was really keeping track of the time spent thousands of feet above the ground, not me, pffft, course not…). “Wait, why are we landing down there?”

Rhys shared my confused expression, leaning out through the opening to glare down at the runway. “I thought we were going to be directly brought to the Prydwen?”

The pilot shook his head, rotating in his seat just enough so that we could hear him over the sound of the propellers and air currents. “I have orders from the Elder himself that we are to dock here before taking another bird up. Something about a test to prove our worth.”

I snorted. “Test? Seriously? After everything we’ve gone through, _now_ we are being tested? Kind of a bit backwards, don’t ya think?” What kind of test would it even be? _Can you state the Code of Conduct word for word, can you shoot a synth without hesitation? Can you identify all the pieces of a set of power armor?_ Seemed pretty fucking useless to me. Turning to Rhys, I asked, “You hear anything about this?”

Rhys shook his head adamantly. “No. But I’ve been away just as long as you have. Cleared some roads north of here before they picked me up on their way to retrieve you.”

I nodded in understanding. “Whatever it is, fingers crossed we can get it over and done with quick.”

“Agreed.”

The vertibird gave one last jolt as the landing gear touched the runway. The motor whined to a halt, the propellers slowing in their rotation. Already I could hear the shouts of Commanding Officers as they led a training session to the south of our location. The whistle being blown, the sound of boots smacking the concrete. Rifle fire in the distance as new recruits shot at targets made from garbage lids, their bullets plinking off of the tin.

And as we exited the craft, I saw a line leading up to the stairs and the chopper that would deliver us to the Prydwen. “Guess we aren’t the only ones who have to take it.”

“My loyalty has never wavered from the Brotherhood and their ways,” Rhys insisted.

I shrugged. “It’s not me you have to convince, bud.”

“But why are they doing this? I’ve always been faithful. Everyone up there has been,” he gestured towards the airship that floated ominously above our heads, blocking the sun from view.

“Maybe Maxson doesn’t think so.”

Rhys fell silent beside me as we began to walk towards the back of the line, eyes focused on the ground at our feet. What was running through his head? Was he beginning to piece it together? Did he see that Maxson was slipping, that he no longer trusted anyone – not me, not him, _no one_? Did he question how our Elder could lead a group of individuals he did not have confidence in?

I certainly hoped he was.

I wanted his resolve to crumble.

Even in the shade of the Prydwen, the sun was as sweltered as ever. A sweat had already formed along the base of my neck, trickling down my back. My lungs complained as the humidity threatened to suffocate the miniscule amount of oxygen I had managed to breathe in. My light grey t-shirt clung to my abdomen and shoulders as I raised a hand to smooth out the wrinkles. I wasn’t sure if the temperature was ever something you got used to… or if this was just a result of being born pre-war and recently thawed out after two years of being a popsicle.

Seeing as I was the only one to testify, I wasn’t sure my inquiry was ever going to get answered.

“Next,” I heard one of the Paladins atop the steps bark. The line shifted as we took our place.

I craned my neck to get a better look as one of the Scribes I had seen working with Quinlan sat at a table. Their voices were muffled from here, I couldn’t make out a word that was being said.

“You catch any of it?” I asked Rhys.

“We will know what is going on soon enough,” came his stoic reply.

I rolled my eyes. Typical Rhys.

Several seconds later, three more soldiers were waved through to board the vertibird. I watched as it took off, pausing at the Prydwen long enough to allow the passengers to exit before returning below. What was going on? Why were we doing this?

And why were my nerves suddenly on edge?

I was next after the woman in front of me. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, pins and needs fled up and down my spine. My muscles twitched, ready for action. I felt like I needed to run, like I needed to flee. But why?

Something about this didn’t feel right… and I was talking more wrong than the whole ‘racist bigoted asshole agenda’ that was the current norm for these guys.

“Rhys-“ I started.

But he raised a hand, green eyes zeroed in on the desk. “Hold on, something’s going on.”

“You cannot be serious!” came an outburst from the woman seated in the metal folding chair.

“You’ve failed the test, you are not who you claim to be.”

“I am! I have never lied!” she protested, standing up and backing away from the Paladins that dwarfed her on either side, hands raised in a gesture that all but screamed ‘don’t hurt me’. My heart rate picked up, adrenaline started to lace into my system. What had happened? What was going on?

People in the line began to shuffle, muttering among themselves, a wave of unease settling around us like a thick blanket. “Rhys?” I whispered, gripping his elbow.

“You need to come with me,” the Paladin insisted, hands moving to clasp the plasma pistol on his hip. “You have failed the test, you are not welcomed on the Prydwen. You are a threat to all of the Commonwealth. You are a traitor to the Brotherhood.”

“I’m not going with you,” she snarled, fingers gripping the chair in front of her and raising it like a shield. “I have been loyal from the day I was recruited. I have never questioned my duty. You can’t treat me like this!”

“Rhys, we have to do something!” I urged, voice hushed but he rested a hand on my arm, stilling me.

“We can’t get involved, Jones. If we do, they may think we are with her. As far as we know, she is as they say. Until we have proof, she is the enemy.”

“Are you for real right now?” I quipped, eyes widening. “She just took a stupid test!”

But he remained silent, his hold on me tightening, grounding me, and disallowing me freedom to move.

“On orders from Elder Arthur Maxson, you have committed treason and you will be punished for your actions.”

“So, that’s it? You’re going to _kill me_? Because I answered one of your precious questions _wrong_?” Her voice raised on a few octaves, her gaze falling onto us. “Is this what the Brotherhood has come to? Relying on paper and pencil to decide who is good and who isn’t?” Fright, terror, horror… present in droves as she cowered away from the Paladins.

“How your life will continue or end is up to the Elder. In the meantime, you will be imprisoned with the others.” Others? There were _others_? How many? “I suggest you cease and desist before injury can be done to you or the innocents below you. Your actions could hurt more than just yourself, remember that. Remember your training.” The man who spoke was like a brick wall: immobile, sturdy, beyond reproach.

The woman flinched as they reached for her but her mind was already made up. She understood the risk of acting out, understood that in doing so she could endanger all of us.

And so she went with them, head dipped forward and face hidden behind the veil of her hair.

But even from here… I could hear her cry, hear her muffled sobs as they dragged her away from us.

The crowd fell silent.

“Next.”

Me. I was next. And after that, I wanted nothing more than to become one hundred percent invisible. But that wasn’t exactly an option. “It’s going to be okay,” Rhys tried to reassure… but his words fell on deaf ears. I wasn’t listening, not any more.

I took a seat, feeling numb as my focus dropped to the paper. The letters ‘S.A.F.E’ were typed along the top.

_Oh no._

The Paladin stood across from me, arms folded in front of his chest. “You will have sixty seconds to answer the questions as honestly as you can. Your test will then be reviewed in front of you. Upon approval, you will join your brothers and sisters on the Prydwen.”

“And if I fail?” I tried to find the woman, tried to look past the man in armor.

“Your sixty seconds start now.”

_Focus._

_‘You decide it would be fun to play a prank on your father. You enter his private restroom when no one is looking, and…’_

I could all but hear the answer I had given months ago, answer I had given to the man seated outside of the gate at Covenant. It all flooded back to me. The test, the strange behavior of the residents, the Compound, Danse’s capture, the escape. Fuck, this couldn’t be happening. Not again.

_‘I would… loosen some bolts on the sink so the next time he turns it on, he’ll flood the bathroom.’_

I had passed this once before… but my only question now was, what the fucking hell was it doing here? How had Maxson gotten his hands on it? And seeing as it was incredibly flawed, why was it being used to test us?

_‘Oh, no! You've been exposed to radiation, and a mutated hand has grown out of your stomach! What's the best course of treatment?’_

There wasn’t any rhythm or reason to the questions. They made absolutely zero sense. How could this detect _anything_? This was ridiculous! But I had to play along like a good little soldier.

_‘Large doses of anti-mutagen agent.’_

Because if I didn’t, I would be caged like an animal, like the woman who had taken this test before me.

_‘Who is indisputably the most important person on the Prydwen: He who shelters us from the harshness of the atomic wasteland, and to whom we owe everything we have, including our lives?’_

Though there were four choices for this question, they were all the same.

_‘Elder Maxson.’_

I put the pencil down, gingerly pushed the parchment towards the Paladin. I didn’t watch him as he glanced over my answers, feared that in doing so he would see the accusing look in my eyes that went against every second of this experiment.

“Pass. You are free to board.”

I released a sigh of relief as I pushed away from the chair, feet unsteady and unsure beneath me as I closed the distance to the vertibird. I heard the chair scrape across the cement as Rhys took his turn. I was safely tucked away inside the chopper when the Paladin muttered “Pass” once more.

And I met Rhys’s pale expression with my own as he lowered himself to the floor next to me.

He blinked wordlessly, light emerald eyes finding mine, a thousand questions dancing in his irises. In that moment, he understood just how far his Elder had fallen. Or at least he was beginning to.

If we weren’t on the same page before… we were now.

And I had some serious questions for the Elder.


	3. Questions and Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay. Went on a week long vacation with the family and then came back and worked a ton of days so I didn't have to take 'paid time off'. But boom, chapter for you. There should be some action in the chapters to come. Sorry for all the conversations. Takes time to set stuff up.

The vertibird propellers whirled to a halt as it docked along the catwalks of the flight deck. None of us had spoken on the short ride from the airport hundreds of feet below us, we were all too stunned to utter a word. One by one we exited the air craft, boots thudding against the metal grating as we boarded the Prydwen. Rhys stood beside me, muscles tense and expression stoic, unreadable. Whatever he was thinking, I wasn’t privy to it. And, for once, I was dying to know. Told ya, lot of shit had changed since a few months ago.

“I need to speak to the Elder,” I whispered as I followed him towards the steel framed doorway that would lead into the bulk of the Prydwen. “I think you should come with me.” I tilted my chin up to Rhys, attempting to catch his eye.

But he didn’t meet my gaze, he stared at the grating at his feet, as if all the answers to his questions were scribbled out along the plating. Hint: they weren’t. He was met with nothing but doubt. “I can’t. Whatever Maxson is doing, I am sure he has reason for it. Blatantly defying his orders is unwise, especially given the current circumstances.” _What does he mean by that? Is there something else going on I don’t know about?_

I snorted. “Are you _shitting_ me?” I waved a hand to the ground below, to the line of people that were still waiting to take their ‘Safe’ exam. “You’re saying that whatever the flip that is, it’s okay?”

His lips tightened into a thin line as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. “We don’t even know what they are doing with those who fail. It’s very possible that they are merely going for a second round of interrogation. I doubt Maxson has anything malicious planned for them.” He sidestepped, making way for a round of Paladins from the next vertibird – their expressions just as drawn and confused as ours. “It would be best to keep your voice down as well,” he warned.

“How long are you going to live behind your mantra?” I quipped ignoring him, defiantly crossing my arms in front of me. “You don’t have to be a blind sheep, Rhys.”

His face whipped up, determination coloring his features. “ _I’m not_. I am my own person.”

“Sure, you are. That’s why you’re so freakishly dandy with what just happened.” He would never see reason, he was married to the Brotherhood of Steel, endowed for life by Maxson and the sparkles he shot out of his ass. “I don’t even know why I’m trying,” I muttered.

“You’re wrong,” he insisted as I started to make my way for the door, hand outstretched for the handle before it could swing shut from the Paladin who entered before me. “About the Brotherhood and about me.”

I arched a brow, glancing over my shoulder. “Am I though?”

He nodded vigorously, as if shaking his head harder would further prove his point.

I pivoted on my heels, hand still on the handle, the metal cold underneath my fingertips and sending a chill down my spine as the wind rustled through my hair. “What if Haylen had been that woman?” I remembered back to the conversation I had had with Haylen so long ago at the Cambridge Police Station. She had said that Rhys saw nothing but his place in the Brotherhood… but what if he did have some feelings for her? Feelings he was too terrified to admit, too afraid to whisper for fear that Maxson would smother them? It was a stretch but… just maybe.

I watched as Rhys noticeably paled, eyes widened a fraction of an inch. “But she wasn’t.”

“Pretend. For five seconds. It won’t kill you.”

“But-“ He floundered, brows knitting together. Were my assumptions correct?

 “Would you still be able to sit by and do nothing? Think about it, Rhys. What if you walk through this door and she isn’t here, because she failed some dumb ass test with bull shit answers?”

He grew quiet, face bowing forward once more. Silence.

“There comes a point where even you should be able to see if something is wrong.” I exhaled slowly. “I’ll talk to Maxson alone. If you aren’t sure then I don’t want you there with me.” And without waiting for his response, I ducked into the cool confines of the Prydwen.

But just before the door closed behind me, Rhys said, “Stop being so suspicious of everyone, we aren’t the bad guys.”

The door slammed heavily into its place, preventing me from replying, leaving me to stare blankly at the iron. What did he mean by that? I wasn’t being suspicious… was I? I shook my head. No… No, Rhys was wrong.

I was greeted with respectful salutes and a round of ‘ma’am’ from every soldier I passed. It was strange. Before I had left, I was Paladin Jones. Sure, I outranked a decent amount of the officers on deck but there were still plenty of those above me. But now? Now I was a Sentinel. The only one for this faction of the Brotherhood. The only person who stood above me on the totem pole was Maxson himself. Granted, as far as actual experience went, I was nothing but a spec. But experience didn’t seem to count for jack shit here.

The Prydwen itself brought some realm of comfort me. Danse had once describe the vessel as ‘home’. I hadn’t understood it at first but I was beginning to. The hum of the generators, the whistle of steam as it fluctuated throughout the pipes, the quiet murmur of squires and Scribes as they carried full-fledged conversations on the lower decks, their voices echoing throughout the entire ship – I had grown accustomed to it. Just as I had become used to dirt under my nails, gore in my hair, and the ever present burn of radiation as it slowly ate away at my flesh day in and day out.

But this comfort did little to calm my nerves as I rounded past the ladder to the sleeping quarters, preferring to bee line for Maxson. If I backed out now, I wouldn’t have the balls to attempt this later. Fuck, I didn’t even know if I had them now.

I could remember the way he had gripped my shirt, the way he tossed me so carelessly to the floor when I had defied him once before… after he had instructed me kill Danse. I swallowed hard.

Fingers crossed this wouldn’t be a repeat of that.

The room was dimly lit, lanterns on the end tables near the off orange couches providing the only light. The curtains before the gaping large window were drawn. The air smelled heavily of cigar smoke with a hint of alcohol. I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease as I entered, the same feeling that had been stalking me since I left the Taffy Boathouse that morning.

Arthur Maxson was speaking to Captain Kells when I arrived, the two gesturing together at a map that was spread out along a table in the center of the room. “-settlements here and here,” Kells was saying.

“Excellent idea, Captain,” Maxson agreed, clapping a hand down on the officer’s back. “Perhaps we could send-“ but he looked up before finishing, noticing my presence near the threshold. “Ah, hello there, Sentinel Jones. Just the woman I wanted to see.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. “What can I do for you, sir?” _Stay professional._

Maxson motioned to Kells. “We were just discussing how we could best go about finding new recruits.”

For what? The war against the Institute was over. “Can I acquire as to why we need to bolster our numbers?” I took a hesitant step onto the deck, hands clasped tightly behind my back.

“I am certain you remember Arthur’s mission, Sentinel,” Kells answered, lips pulled into a proud grin. “We are to free the Commonwealth from all nonhuman threat. We cannot accomplish that task with the soldiers we have. Bringing such peace would require us to station troops at several locations through the Wastes.”

 _Oh, so like a mass invasion. I’m sure the people will be just thrilled with that_. “Right,” I paused, glancing down at the map where several varied colored thumb tacks were pressed into the parchment. “And where exactly do you intend to find willing recruits?” I doubted Maxson comprehended the Commonwealth’s general disdain for the BOS, and I suspected no one had the guts to tell him that we weren’t the most likely to be voted for ‘Favorite Organization with Slight Racist Ideals’ award.

Maxson replied, “Thanks to your, and Preston Garvey’s, endeavors with the Minutemen, you have given us quite a few places to start searching.”

My stomach flipped. Was here really going to use the people I had saved for his disgusting plan? The notion of it made my skin crawl. I hadn’t helped those people under the guise of them being used later, not for this. “Are you implying that you intend to ask settlers, with no command experience whatsoever, to join us?” I made my tone neutral, painfully so, mimicking Rhys’ blank facial expression from earlier.

“That’s what training is for, is it not?” Maxson questioned, cocking his head towards Kells so the two could share a small chuckle that only furthered my desire to curl into a small ball and hide. “You made it abundantly obvious that these people are capable. Within a handful of short days we were able to take the ragtag group of individuals Garvey brought us and turned them into well-equipped soldiers fighting under a common cause.”

Yeah, to take down the Institute – not to join your ‘let’s slaughter everyone who doesn’t look like us, Hitler-esc parade’. “I’m not certain that some of the settlers would be interested in a life of serving the Brotherhood,” I tried. They were farmers, gatherers, and creators. Hell, even hunting radstag or Brahmin was too much for them. I couldn’t imagine them carrying assault rifles, decked out in combat armor, taking down ghouls and supermutants. Most would turn tail and flee to the protection of their homes.

“We will be requesting recruits. It’s one hundred percent voluntary,” Maxson assured with a gentle smile. “I have no intentions of forcing this upon anyone.” Kells bobbed his head in agreement.

Why did I get the sinking feeling that they were lying to me?

_Stop being so suspicious._

I blinked hard. _Were_ they lying? Or was I just being overly cautious? Suspicious of every little action Maxson did?

_We aren’t the bad guys._

Arthur had a family of his own… I could be wrong. I peered up at their faces. He seemed genuine. Was Rhys right? Was I being stupidly distrustful? If I really wanted to know for sure, I had to ask. I had to ask why he was using the Compound’s test. “Would these people have to undergo your Safe exam?”

Maxson sighed, skimming his fingers through his hair. “I had a hunch you were going to inquire about that. You passed, however. So, what is there to ponder?”

My gaze flicked to Kells. I wasn’t sure if I could keep my confidence with him present but I had to try. I had to know the truth. “I was there, sir, when the Safe test was discovered. It was faulty, it didn’t actually do what it was alleged to do.”

Arthur shook his head. “See, that’s where you’re wrong.”

My brow furrowed. Wrong? How was I wrong? “With all due respect, Amelia, the girl we helped rescue, wasn’t a synth.”

“Correct. But, M7-97, need I remind you, _was_. I realize that it may be painful to speak of what happened given the circumstances” – _you don’t say, jack ass_ – “But the abomination once known as Paladin Danse was indeed a synthetic created by the Institute. This test did discover his true identity.”

My breath lodged in my throat.  _No._ No, that had been coincidental. There was no flipping way that test could sum up any sort of genuine results.

Kells continued, “With some fine tuning and tweaking, we believe we can create an exam that can be used by the entirety of the Commonwealth to help us find and eradicate all of the rogue synths.”

Without filtering myself, I snapped, “And you’re going to use your own men and women as test subjects?”

Maxson’s expression could only be described as incredulous, as if I had been idiotic to even ask such a redundant question. “Of course. Listen, my methods may be unorthodox but this is the only way to refine the results. We cannot use it on civilians without proof of proper testing. Your fellow brothers and sisters are aware of the necessity for such rigorous testing and have full heartedly agreed to comply with it. They would rather create a safer world for the innocents we protect. This is one step in that process.”

“And what awaits those who fail?”

Kells and Maxson exchanged another look before Kells replied, “Cade will examine them fully and make the final decision as to whether or not they are synthetic.”

Cade… Last I checked he was on our side, kind of. He knew of Danse’s identity and had done nothing. That had to be a good sign, right? Please say right. But for now… If I kept up my line of questioning, Maxson would grow suspicious of me. I was supposed to be undercover, being crafty and smart. Two things I wasn’t super great at. “Understood, sir. Apologies. My mothering instincts are probably just kicking.”

Maxson nodded, waving his hand dismissively. “No harm done, Jones. I have always appreciated your curiosity. Now, if you do not mind, we do have a task for you.”

I felt my breath catch in my throat. “You had mentioned that.”

Kells stepped forward, gesturing towards the map once more. “We would like you to join a few other soldiers to round of some volunteers at settlements nearby.”

“What if no one wants to join, sir?”

Kells shrugged a shoulder. “Then move on to the next. Like we said, these men and women are under no obligation to join us. This is completely voluntary.”

“And who would be accompanying me?”

“Teagan, Rhys, Lucia, and Brandis.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about my new traveling companions. Teagan was hot headed and quick to temper; the last time I had worked with him, he had all too quickly changed his mind when it came to the ‘willing’ and ‘voluntary’ part of the gig when it came to collecting supplies from farmsteads. My skin crawled with the thought of working with him again. Lucia and Rhys were wild cards, I wasn’t sure how either would react if Teagan decided he wanted to switch again.  But perhaps with Brandis at my back… “Understood, sir. I will collect them at once and head out within the hour.”

“Outstanding. Do us proud, Sentinel. Ad Victoriam,” Arthur saluted before turning back to Kells, effectively dismissing me.

I made a mental note of the settlements that we were to visit and ducked out of the deck.

As I was leaving, I caught Maxson saying, “She is going to truly take us places, isn’t she?”

Huh, if only he knew that the place I wanted to take him was buried six feet under the top soil.


End file.
